In Texas we have gender neautral laws.
Yes, I've represented women that had stay-at-home husbands that had not worked for over 10 years. FYI: It's interesting to watch women complain that they are going to have to pay spousal support (aka alimony) to their husbands!
Yes, I've represented stay-at-home spouses that had not worked over 20 years.
Unfortunately, getting a divorce is a real shock to a stay-at-home spouse.
Generally, spousal support is designed in Texas to compensate spouses when there is not enough community property to get them by after the divorce. Many times it's limited to 3 years maximum. This is a shock to most people. However, the legislature is now beginning to relize that many stay-at-home spouses are disabled and need more than a couple of years of help.
Unfortunately, many people divorcing in Texas just don't have enough income to support to households. The stay-at-home spouse gets dose of reality when they realize that their income is going to drop dramatically after the divorce and that the laws of the State of Texas do not protect them! This is especially true when they are not within Social Security ages!
In cases I've mediated, I've actually encouarged some couples to stay married and just live apart. Most times this is not what the healthy spouse wants. The healthy spouse wants to get re-married and have a life. The sick spouse is "clinging" onto their spouse for the health insurance benefits.
Unfortunately, most legislatures lag behind in what is happening in our society. If you want to change our current laws, you need to get involved NOW in writing and communicating with our TX legislature. Don't wait until the legislature meets -- then it's too late.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
My spouse is a real bum!
Many people come to me and tell me what a bum they have as a spouse!
What they don't realize that the Judge wonders what is wrong with them that they married that person!
If you marry such a bad person, what is wrong with you? Why did you stay married to this person for 10 years?
If he is a drug dealer, then how did you meet him?
Are you invovled in drugs?
Why did you marry him?
How did you not know that he was involved in drugs and dealing drugs?
When you learned he was dealing drugs, why did you not leave?
Why did you have a child with this person?
Why did you have many children with this person?
Are you beginning to get the idea?
If you are married to such a bad person, what is wrong with you?
I had one client that was married to a very successful drug dealer. (He was the drug delivery guy.) He was really upset that when they separated she still made all the money with her new "honey" the new drug delivery guy. (He just wanted the money to keep coming in.) She had been the "bright" one. He could not understand how their drug dealing "family" did not help him get custody. Unfortuntely, she was very bright and was able to "test clean" on all the drug tests the court ordered. My client could not test clean -- he was just not that bright! He just did not get it. I suggested that he get her "busted" but she was still too bright to get busted!
One judge in Harris County within the past year, got tired or hearing how bad each parent was, so she just called CPS remove the chidren from both parents and put them in foster care. The judge wanted to protect the chidren from both parents. If both parents were doing what the other parent alleged, then the children's lives were in danger. I got a call from one of the parents, she was livid at the judge. I agreed with the judge. If her husband was doing what the mom alleged, the judge was right. Remove the children and protect the children. The law in the State of Texas is to do what is in the children's best interests. The law is NOT what to do what is the parent's best interests.
So if you are in a relationship with a real bum, don't expect the judge to have any sympathy -- especially if you stay more than a couple of years.
What they don't realize that the Judge wonders what is wrong with them that they married that person!
If you marry such a bad person, what is wrong with you? Why did you stay married to this person for 10 years?
If he is a drug dealer, then how did you meet him?
Are you invovled in drugs?
Why did you marry him?
How did you not know that he was involved in drugs and dealing drugs?
When you learned he was dealing drugs, why did you not leave?
Why did you have a child with this person?
Why did you have many children with this person?
Are you beginning to get the idea?
If you are married to such a bad person, what is wrong with you?
I had one client that was married to a very successful drug dealer. (He was the drug delivery guy.) He was really upset that when they separated she still made all the money with her new "honey" the new drug delivery guy. (He just wanted the money to keep coming in.) She had been the "bright" one. He could not understand how their drug dealing "family" did not help him get custody. Unfortuntely, she was very bright and was able to "test clean" on all the drug tests the court ordered. My client could not test clean -- he was just not that bright! He just did not get it. I suggested that he get her "busted" but she was still too bright to get busted!
One judge in Harris County within the past year, got tired or hearing how bad each parent was, so she just called CPS remove the chidren from both parents and put them in foster care. The judge wanted to protect the chidren from both parents. If both parents were doing what the other parent alleged, then the children's lives were in danger. I got a call from one of the parents, she was livid at the judge. I agreed with the judge. If her husband was doing what the mom alleged, the judge was right. Remove the children and protect the children. The law in the State of Texas is to do what is in the children's best interests. The law is NOT what to do what is the parent's best interests.
So if you are in a relationship with a real bum, don't expect the judge to have any sympathy -- especially if you stay more than a couple of years.
How has everyone been the past 2 years?
What is important is what has been happening for the past 2 years.
We have all made mistakes in our lives. The important question is -- have we learned from our mistakes and have we cleaned up our lives?
There are people that have been in prison, drug dealers, etc. that now have great jobs, live in nice homes, and have custody of their kids. They are involved in their kids lives, making sure they do their homework, involved in their church, etc.
What the courts (judge) wants to know is what has been happening for the past few years?
So if you have a bad past but if you have cleaned up and are now a respectable citizen and doing the right thing with people that are willing to testify on your behalf, you are in great shape.
Just keeping doing what you are doing!
We have all made mistakes in our lives. The important question is -- have we learned from our mistakes and have we cleaned up our lives?
There are people that have been in prison, drug dealers, etc. that now have great jobs, live in nice homes, and have custody of their kids. They are involved in their kids lives, making sure they do their homework, involved in their church, etc.
What the courts (judge) wants to know is what has been happening for the past few years?
So if you have a bad past but if you have cleaned up and are now a respectable citizen and doing the right thing with people that are willing to testify on your behalf, you are in great shape.
Just keeping doing what you are doing!
He wanted me to have an abortion
Many women say to me "he wanted me to have an abortion!"
Sorry! It's just not that big a deal. Especially when the kid is 10 years old!
Many men just "freak out" when they first hear that they are going to be a dad. They have a moment of panic and fear. But once the baby is born they are a great dad.
So mom, get over it!
No court is going to "terminate his parental rights" or whatever because for 5 minutes he behaved badly!
Especially, if he's been behaving fine for the past 2 years!
Sorry! It's just not that big a deal. Especially when the kid is 10 years old!
Many men just "freak out" when they first hear that they are going to be a dad. They have a moment of panic and fear. But once the baby is born they are a great dad.
So mom, get over it!
No court is going to "terminate his parental rights" or whatever because for 5 minutes he behaved badly!
Especially, if he's been behaving fine for the past 2 years!
DNA TESTING
I would always ask for DNA testing, even if I was married to the woman.
Now in Texas, you can be ordered to pay child support the rest of a child's life -- if a child is disabled!
Therefore, it's worth a few moment's of potential awkwardness or possible anger to ask for a DNA test!
Be sure it's your kid!
Once you are on the birth certificate, it's difficult to get your name off. Yes, it can be done but it's much easier to just never have your name on it in the first place!
Now in Texas, you can be ordered to pay child support the rest of a child's life -- if a child is disabled!
Therefore, it's worth a few moment's of potential awkwardness or possible anger to ask for a DNA test!
Be sure it's your kid!
Once you are on the birth certificate, it's difficult to get your name off. Yes, it can be done but it's much easier to just never have your name on it in the first place!
She got pregnant on purpose
Ok guys, if you claim that she "trapped" you into getting pregnant and you should therefore not be ordered to pay child support, it won't work in Texas.
The State of Texas legislature has determined that you voluntarily "participated" so therefore you are responsible for the "fruits" of your labor -- the kid.
If it's your DNA, it's your responsibility.
ALWAYS, ASK FOR DNA TESTING WHEN A BABY IS BORN!
EVEN IF YOU ARE MARRIED TO THE MOM!
The State of Texas legislature has determined that you voluntarily "participated" so therefore you are responsible for the "fruits" of your labor -- the kid.
If it's your DNA, it's your responsibility.
ALWAYS, ASK FOR DNA TESTING WHEN A BABY IS BORN!
EVEN IF YOU ARE MARRIED TO THE MOM!
Having sex with a teen-ager
If you are more than 1-1/2 years older than the teen-ager, please don't have sex with that person!
If so, you could end up a registered sex offender in Texas.
A minor cannot give permission to have sex with you!
Their parents cannot give permission to have sex with you!
So, just walk away
If so, you could end up a registered sex offender in Texas.
A minor cannot give permission to have sex with you!
Their parents cannot give permission to have sex with you!
So, just walk away
Can my 17 yr. old girl friend come live with me?
17 yr. olds are "strange animals" in Texas.
For ciminal purposes they are adults.
For civil purposes, they are still minor children.
Normally CPS won't get involved in these cases. CPS is focused on protecting children. Babies and small children cannot protect themselves. 17 yr. old kids can normally protect themselves so CPS is usually not that worried about them.
What I normally suggest is that the 17 yr. old wait until the moment they turn 18 and they leave the house.
At midnight on they 18th birthday they can walk (or run) out of their parent's home and they are an adult. Their parents cannot stop them. They are free!
However, they might not be able to take their "stuff" with them. They can take anything they inherited or they received as a "gift". That is their "stuff". Anything their parents gave them (furniture, cell phone, etc.) belongs to their parents. If their parents don't want them to take their computer, cell phone, etc. then that "stuff" stays.
However, I recommend that if you have any questions that you call your local policing agencies (police, sheriff or constable in Texas) and talk to their dispatcher. Find out their local policies. Yes, their policies can vary depending on their superior's orders. Find out IN ADVANCE what their officers will do if they are called. In fact, let me know if you are planning to leave, they will put that in the system and be prepared for a phone call. You can call them when you are leaving and let them know that you are leaving and that you want to leave without any problems. They will come and watch you leave to make sure there are no problems.
There is an excellent free pamphlet called "Now that you are 18" that was written by a Texas lawyer's group several years ago. I can't find my last copy. You might "google" it and see if you can find it. It was very informative.
For ciminal purposes they are adults.
For civil purposes, they are still minor children.
Normally CPS won't get involved in these cases. CPS is focused on protecting children. Babies and small children cannot protect themselves. 17 yr. old kids can normally protect themselves so CPS is usually not that worried about them.
What I normally suggest is that the 17 yr. old wait until the moment they turn 18 and they leave the house.
At midnight on they 18th birthday they can walk (or run) out of their parent's home and they are an adult. Their parents cannot stop them. They are free!
However, they might not be able to take their "stuff" with them. They can take anything they inherited or they received as a "gift". That is their "stuff". Anything their parents gave them (furniture, cell phone, etc.) belongs to their parents. If their parents don't want them to take their computer, cell phone, etc. then that "stuff" stays.
However, I recommend that if you have any questions that you call your local policing agencies (police, sheriff or constable in Texas) and talk to their dispatcher. Find out their local policies. Yes, their policies can vary depending on their superior's orders. Find out IN ADVANCE what their officers will do if they are called. In fact, let me know if you are planning to leave, they will put that in the system and be prepared for a phone call. You can call them when you are leaving and let them know that you are leaving and that you want to leave without any problems. They will come and watch you leave to make sure there are no problems.
There is an excellent free pamphlet called "Now that you are 18" that was written by a Texas lawyer's group several years ago. I can't find my last copy. You might "google" it and see if you can find it. It was very informative.
When can a kid decide to vist (or live with a parent)?
In Texas, the answer to when a minor child can decide which parent they want to live with (or even visit their other parent) is 18!
That's it!
18 YEARS OLD!!!!!
I get this question via http://www.avvo.com/ and http://www.lawguru.com/ on a daily basis!
I don't know who or where people get the idea that kids get to make a decision about who they get to live with or when they get decide if they get to visit their non-custodial parents.
There USED TO BE a document that the kid could sign that stated who they wanted to live with but it was NEVER binding on the judge. The judge ALWAYS had the final say on what the minor child had to do -- up to the age of 18!!
THE TEXAS LEGISLATURE HAS GOTTEN RID OF THIS DOCUMENT.
IT NO LONGER EXISTS.
IT'S GONE.
IT'S HISTORY!!!
Now the Juge must interview the child in the Judge's chamber -- alone!! That means -- one on one -- to determine what the child wants to do. Many judges don't like this. Many judges just don't have the time to interview every child involved in litigation! It is just impossible for the judge to interview each child involved in litigation!
Why? Since kids attend school and the courts normally close around 5pm. That gives judges from approximately 4-5 pm (one hour) to interview all the minor children. That technically means children from age 0-18. Most judges are not trained to interview small children. Most small children cannot adequate communicate and many cannot tell fiction from reality.
Most judges are not going to have children removed from school to interview them. In large cities, like Houston and Dallas, if a child is removed from school they are going to miss a full day or 1/2 day of school. Many judges don't want to be responsible for a kid missing that much school!
That's it!
18 YEARS OLD!!!!!
I get this question via http://www.avvo.com/ and http://www.lawguru.com/ on a daily basis!
I don't know who or where people get the idea that kids get to make a decision about who they get to live with or when they get decide if they get to visit their non-custodial parents.
There USED TO BE a document that the kid could sign that stated who they wanted to live with but it was NEVER binding on the judge. The judge ALWAYS had the final say on what the minor child had to do -- up to the age of 18!!
THE TEXAS LEGISLATURE HAS GOTTEN RID OF THIS DOCUMENT.
IT NO LONGER EXISTS.
IT'S GONE.
IT'S HISTORY!!!
Now the Juge must interview the child in the Judge's chamber -- alone!! That means -- one on one -- to determine what the child wants to do. Many judges don't like this. Many judges just don't have the time to interview every child involved in litigation! It is just impossible for the judge to interview each child involved in litigation!
Why? Since kids attend school and the courts normally close around 5pm. That gives judges from approximately 4-5 pm (one hour) to interview all the minor children. That technically means children from age 0-18. Most judges are not trained to interview small children. Most small children cannot adequate communicate and many cannot tell fiction from reality.
Most judges are not going to have children removed from school to interview them. In large cities, like Houston and Dallas, if a child is removed from school they are going to miss a full day or 1/2 day of school. Many judges don't want to be responsible for a kid missing that much school!
New look to blog
Josh Peterson - don't know you but I love you new template! Now my blog looks like my website.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)